5 Things I've Been Doing Completely Wrong... 

...in the kitchen (we don't have time for all the other things I do wrong on a daily basis).

As I mentioned before, I am working on my "Professional Cook Certification".  The kids want to know if I will be a Chef when I am done.  As far as I'm concerned, I am the head of this kitchen so I am its Chef right now.  I am 42% complete my course, am loving it and have learned so much.  For example, I have been doing the following completely wrong:

1.  heating a stainless steel pan
2.  avoiding my Chef's knife
3.  hard-boiling an egg
4.  sauteing mushrooms
5.  simmering stock

Now, you may be wondering how I could possibly be doing these things incorrectly, and I would love to tell you, but I just can't have you being smarter than me, can I?  I just finished my unit, and wrote my exam, on dry-heat cooking methods and I am doing very well.  In fact, I am right at the top of my class.  I have been cursing one classmate, Sergio from Brazil, who has not lost a point (I have lost two...don't get me started, they were "trick" questions).  The kids laugh and laugh, as I yell "Curse you, Sergio from Brazil!  Curse you!"  However, upon recent examination of the leaderboard, I see that Sergio has not completed an assignment in a couple of weeks and is falling behind, and now I am worried that I really did curse him!!

So here I sit, in my best Elaine Benes voice, "Get well, Sergio, get well soon, we want you to get well!"